Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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