Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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