I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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