i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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