Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
