Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
