The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
