Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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