Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
