I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
