Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
