This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
