So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
