I am puke
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
