Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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