the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
