Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
