After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
