Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
