terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
