My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
