1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
