There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
