U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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