I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
