in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
