i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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