forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
