you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So many bounce houses so little time
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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