After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
