I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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