i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wear drunk well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
