try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
