hotel room ftw
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
