just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Let's get the cat blown out
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
