She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
