My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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