You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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