i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just high enough for therapy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
