the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
