I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
