I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
