I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
