just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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