yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
