dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
