I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
