he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
