my mouth tastes like poor choices
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
