i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
