i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
