You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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