I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
They have beer where we have blood.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
